I am a good housekeeper. Did you notice I did not say excellent? That is because I have decided that I am not an "other". I was thinking about this fact today as my husband and I were touring brand new "parade" homes in our town. I made the comment, and I can't remember if it was out-loud to myself or in-my-head to myself, but I made the comment that model homes always look perfect because no one lives in them. I made this comment to myself because, you see, my husband is an "other".
The "others" that I am referring to are those people who are born with the "clean" gene. I'm not just talkin' normal clean, I'm talkin' fanatic clean. I am as clean as I am today because of these people. My husband and his family impressed upon me "correct household cleaning standards". They are German...nuff said. There were some things though, that they just couldn't teach me. I have decided you need the "clean gene" that the "others" have to learn... or notice, or even care about these cleaning issues. Let me give you some examples...
The air-return vents on your ceiling should be vacuumed regularly because they gather dirt and get brownish. Floor heat registers should be taken out and rinsed periodically as well. I must be vent-challenged or possibly missed sign-ups for the Vents 101 class offered when I received my MRS degree. Explains the sneezing in my house.
One must vacuum UNDER things. Vacuuming is done around in my mind. "Under" is a hidden thing, as well as "behind" and "in". These are my havens, my safe places. These are the places I love, that I know I can count on to be there when I need to shove something away, sweep something under, or tuck something in. (I know there are therapists psycho-analyzing this at the moment and all I can say is, I know, I know...) When these sacred places are placed under scrutiny, our society as we know it is in danger of unraveling. Our stores will be filled with an endless supply of clear items or transparent items. The clear glass shower door is just one example of this disturbing trend. Next, washing machines and refrigerators will go up on foot-high legs and the "underneaths" will be exposed! No one needs to see this!
Another task that I am sub-par at is dusting. Apparently, one should dust the door frame, above, you know, where you can’t see. Once again, I assumed this was nothing to worry about. I am an eye-level duster. I forget though that “others” have above and below and behind sensors that I was born without.
I am sorry if I am offending an "other" with this post. I know you honestly care about these things. Some of you have serious sleep disturbances from lying in bed wondering if you should get up and remove cob-webs. But you see, cob-webs escape my notice unless they trap me in my bed...so I just can't relate. I hope you understand that I have the utmost respect for you. (I just realized that I shouldn't be that concerned that any "other" is taking the time to read this post...they are on their knees dusting off the lamp cords!)
I hear ya! I can make the outside look fabulous, but just don't open all my drawers or look under my sofa! (It's were I store my huge Scrabble game... and the likes.)
ReplyDeleteI keep thinking that someday, when my kids are grown and gone, I might care about what the "others" care about...but you have shot that theory right outta the sky, my friend.
Great post!! Have I mentioned yet, that I am glad you are blogging? I am!
When I was a young wife, I read a book called "The Messies Manual". It correctly pointed out that there a natural born messies and natural born cleanies. Cleanies, or "others", notice things like a single piece of lint on the carpet and crumbs on the counters. They also jump right up even before you've finished eating to do the dishes. I do mine 2-3 times a week or when it's too cluttered to cook dinner that night or if someone is coming over, but not always, depends who it is. Sorry. Not really.
ReplyDeleteYou may be able to tell that I am a messie. I have learned a lot about tricks and systems that have helped me become an "adequate" housekeeper. I wouldn't even go as far as you did, Renee, and say "good". I can keep the health dept. at bay. And, yes, my husband, is a cleanie. It has been an interesting issue as his dear mother is also a cleanie.
But I have come to the place where I am satisfied that I will never be a great housekeeper. So has my husband. There are so many other really important things to do! The only really embarrassing times are when we move ... when our helpers pull out the frig or stove or the dressers or the furniture and expose those wonderful hidden, safe places. So sue me. I have other really cool gifts and talents!
Yeah. What she said!
ReplyDeleteI have decided that November will be "Free Range Month" at my household. Free range as is the dust bunnies will roam freely and multiply rapidly. It's an experiment of sorts . . . as you said "the underneaths" I want to find out just how far "underneath" they will roam . . .
ReplyDeleteLisa, you must be having the "house-cleaning" doldrums as well right now. I saw on your blog the other day (or was it facebook?) that you were now decorating for Halloween with your own home grown cobwebs. He he
ReplyDelete"Right Now" works for me, however, Glenn would say it has been going on for a heck of a lot longer . . . what does he know anyway, he's male!
ReplyDeleteI'm quite content on improving my fighting skills as I manurer through the piles of laundry, dodging cobwebs and kicking dust bunnies so I can get out the garage door and have my daily coffee fix from Moxie.
I am a perfectionist/slob. I am messy, but it bugs me because I want everything in its place, but just not enough German in me to get it done.
ReplyDelete